Hall of Fame Azz Blunt

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Third Girl had an ass to die for. Unfortunately it was parked right smack dead center in my mattress, between me and my girl Trish, separating us and not leaving either of us much room to stay on the bed. Lying on her tummy, thick thighs spread slightly and magnificent booty pointing straight at heaven, from whence it clearly came. Lying there just like she owned the muthafukkin place.

My girl Trish tried to wiggle inward a bit and push Third Girl’s voluptuous thighs closer together, but the girl was passed out dead weight. None of her thick, heavy, juicy body could be easily dislodged, but she did reward Trish with loud snore.

Trish was my best friend and on-and-off lover (currently on). Trisha Terrence, but it sounded like Trish Trance to me so that’s what I called her. Her delicious pussy had its own pet name, Trish Trance’s Treasure Trove. When she dropped out of college (the second time) and took her talents to Naughty Nikki’s Gentlemens Club (I put in a good word for her), she took Treasure as her stage name, and it kinda stuck. Most people called her Treasure, and her paychecks said Treasure, and she had a Lakers jersey with “Treasure” screened on the back, so she was Treasure to the rest of the world. But would always be my lil Trashy Trish.

Trish made a sour face at snoozing Third Girl.

“Jasmine,” she said, “remind me again why we picked up this lazy skank?”

“Cuz you were jonesin’ for some fresh college pussy and this is as fresh as it gets.”

Which was true on all counts. Me and Trish, lying around getting high earlier when she decided she wanted to spice up our sex life by picking up a random girl for a threesome – a Third Girl.

And not just any girl. Trish wanted to cruise the bars near the university to score some Fresh College Pussy. So cruising we went, and unlike that 90% of the time when you go cruising in bars and fail to find what you’re looking for, or just find trouble…we found exactly what we were looking for.

Third Girl. DAMN. Thick little hottie in a short, sexy little red dress, stripper heels, and muscular thighs making that dress WORK when she walked. Exotic lil mixed minx with long black hair and blazing eyes. Tons of fun on the dance floor. Trish and I sandwiched her; I stood behind her, reaching around to attack her big soft boobs like a predator sinking its claws into raw meat. Trish hooked one arm behind the girl’s neck and pulled her in for a really nasty french kiss. Her other hand got up under Miss Thang’s skirt, pulled her panties aside and fingered her to a couple of gorgeous orgasms, right there on the dance floor.

The best part was, we didnt even have to ask her to come home with us. Trish was talking smack about how she and her strapon owned my pussy and she could make me cum till I passed out.

“Oh my god that’s soooo sexy!” gushed Third Girl. “I would so like to see that!”

Well, okay then. Back to my apartment, and Third Girl watched, enraptured, while Trish, who loves an audience, gave me a fucking for the ages.

At that point, I was very well satisfied and freakin exhausted and wasn’t planning to have another orgasm for a few years. I figured Third Girl would now spread her powerful thighs and take Trish’s detachable meat waaaaay up in that drippingly delightful little pussy.

Instead, I noticed Third Girl was staring Escort Bayan Antep at me, with those big sexy slutty eyes, licking those thick red slutty lips and rolling over right on top of me. Her hands were all over my sweaty naked skin and her tongue was down my throat and her slippery pussy was grinding high on my thigh. I made a slight adjustment and got our gashes lined up and felt a shivery thrill as my clit slid over hers.

And then it was on. Tired though I was, that fucking amazing little body just made me wild. Our pussies were spread and open and slippery and we attacked each other like two hungry cannibalistic sharks. Our clits just locked into place and I could feel my juices getting violently blended with hers.

Suddenly she stiffened and it felt like a warm water balloon exploded between us and she was screaming and convulsing and cumming and pouring her liquid love all over my sheets which I had just washed two days earlier. Oh well.

Of course, all that naughty stuff going on in her cooch flipped my switch, and I was screaming and losing my shit and after that I guess I couldn’t put all the blame on her for the condition of the sheets.

After that, Third Girl switched positions and her dripping cooch was in my face and she was sucking my clit so I buried my face in her muff and went to town. It didn’t take long for her to cum and cum again and then again and it seemed like each time she came harder than the last one. And I just fuckin drank the bitch. Wish I had gills though, because when those thunder thighs locked around my head there wasn’t much room to breathe.

Lying in the afterglow, I figured I was due for a break. Trish looked…aroused is too mild…and after fucking me to about eight orgasms and watching Third Girl and me roll out about 12 more between the two of us, without cumming herself, the Treasure Trove was locked and loaded and ready for action.

Instead, Third Girl just rolled over gave us an up-close view of one of the truly most magnificent asses I’ve ever seen…and fell into a deep, noisy sleep. Right in the middle of MY muthafukkin bed, leaving Trish and me with no room to fornicate and barely enough room not to fall off.

“She does have a nice ass, though,” Trish said.

“Not like it’s doing us any good, attached to a fucking dead body,”

“Yeah, there is that…but it’s so big and meaty and smooth, seems like it oughta be useful for something even when she’s passed out.”

“Whoa there, Trish, don’t start getting all date rapey and shit.”

“Haha, Jazz. Not what I meant. It’s so big and round smooth, almost like a workbench.”

“Workbench? Trish, you’re fucking hilarious. What u gonna build on that ass? Farm machinery?”

“Well…if Umi was here with some rice and fish, she could make sushi on it.” We both laughed out loud at the mental image.

“Sorry Trish, Umi aint here and that fishy smell is homegirl’s messy jayjay.”

“Ewww, that’s gross, Jazz. Settle down.”

“Hey wasn’t my idea to roll fucking sushi on her ass. Speaking of rolling…you wanna roll us another blunt?”

“Yeah, I guess I…HEY!”

“Huh? HEY what?”

Trish didn’t answer, but instead hopped over to her purse and dug out a rolling paper. Well, no, not paper. More like a cigar leaf. A pretty big one.

“Roll,” she said. “That’s it! That big ol’ ass…and that nice deep crack…it’s like a rolling machine!”

Well, I gotta admit, I was not quite seeing it that way. But I would never doubt Trish’s expertise relative to rolling joints and blunts. When it came to rolling, the girl was a fucking Michaelangelo (no, NOT the goddam turtle). I swear, she could roll commercial quality product in the dark with one hand while eating pussy, if she had to. Her rolling skillz were so advanced that mine had never advanced beyond rudimentary, because she always took care of it for me.

“Wait,” I said as the implications dawned on me, “you are not seriously gonna…”

“Oh hell yes I am,” she giggled.

“No babe…they roll cigars on the thighs of virgins, not up the asscrack of skanks.”

“Haha. Watch and learn, Jazzybuns.”

With one hand, she spread Third Girl’s meaty ass cheeks, while with the other she wedged the leaf into her crack. She ran a finger up and down the leaf, causing the girl to squirm slightly and moan.

“Aww jeez, Trish, that’s gonna taste like ass.”

“With this shitty weed you bought, we won’t notice the difference.”

“Ooooh, you dirty fucking ho, I am gonna bite your nipples bloody.”

“Promises, promises. Anyway, when you were calculating the square root of 69 with Miss Thang here, you pretty much cleaned up everything between her tits and her ankles.”

“Well yeah, okay. Good point.”

Trish opened my little stash bottle and sprinkled a verrrry generous load of lawn clippings onto the delightfully curved leaf where it lay in the deliciously grooved ass. As she pressed down to pack it more tightly, the girl moaned again and her ass started to buck slightly. Trish laughed.

“Hold still, bitch,” she said. The girl mumbled something into her pillow and her ass kept rocking. I leaned down next to her ear.

“Biotch,” I said, “if you spill any of my weed in there, I swear I will put a lighter up your crack and smoke your ass like a bong.”

Trish laughed so hard she almost fell off the bed. Third Girl made a whining noise but stopped moving. Trish packed the weed nice and tight into the leaf and fiddled with the edges.

“There we go,” she said. At this point, she would normally bring the blunt to her mouth, run her tongue along the edge, give the whole thing a little twist and voila, yet another Trish Trance masterpiece would drop down off the assembly line. For a moment, I thought she was gonna follow that script and airlift the passenger right outa Third Girl’s Valley of Mystery. She hesitated, though, and I could see why. Dat azz was just packing it in there perfectly, and it wouldn’t stay packed if she removed it too early.

Trish hesitated for a second, then started to lean forward with her tongue out. But I could see her realizing that tongue-to-ass wasn’t gonna work here, and she would probably just end up with a mouthful of loose weed.

On to Plan B. She brought an index finger to her mouth, licked it, brought down toward the payload…then stopped with a grin.

“I got this,” she said, and pressed her hand deep down into Third Girl’s thigh gap. The girl moaned again and spread her thighs a bit more. Trish started moving her hand back and forth and I heard a sloshing sound.

“Yo Trance,” I said. “Dafuck, you gotta fingerbang her right this instant? How bout you finish the muthafukkin blunt first.”

Trish gave me an evil grin, sloshed around a bit more and then brought her hand out. She held it up to me. Her fingers glistened with Third Girl’s creamy liquid love. Shiny little strings of ladycum stretched from finger to finger, looking oh so nice and gooey and sticky…

“Oh my god,” I groaned as it hit me. “You are not seriously gonna seal that blunt with her skanky pussy juice.”

“Dafuck I aint. I always wanted to try this.”

“Trish, that’s disgusting. It’s not sanitary.”

“Says the girl whose face was so far up that same pussy I thought it was gonna have to be surgically removed.”

“Well…okay…fair point.”

“I mean, there’s probably more of your saliva up there right now than her juice.”

“Okay, fine, you made your point.”

“And any girl cooties you haven’t already licked off will get incinerated anyway…”

“OKAY! I got it. Just roll the bitch.”

She ran her finger along one edge of the leaf, smearing a generous stripe of milky goodness. She touched her finger to her tongue again, and dabbed a coupla spots. Then both hands descended into the Magic Valley, she gripped each end of the blunt, and…

The patented Trish Trance Treasure Twist. No matter how many times I watched, I never figured out exactly how she did it. One instant, an open leaf filled with loose cannabis, hanging mid-air, an accident waiting to happen. The next instant…perfection in the palm of Trish’s pretty, petite hands.

“Fucking hell,” I breathed. It might have been her best ever. Long as a small man’s hardon, thick as a big man’s pinky, tight as a virgin pussy on prom night. A wet little seam like ripe jayjay leaking into thirsty panties.

“Damn girl,” I said. “That’s going into the Hall of Fame for Blunts. I don’t even know if we should smoke it.”

“Well, the Hall of Fame for Ass Blunts, anyway,” she giggled. “And hell yes we gonna smoke it. Just let me powder my nose first.” She set the blunt on the table next to Third Girl’s panties, bra, dress and purse, and skipped into the bathroom.

“Put on some music,” she called as she closed the door.

As I walked over to my computer and started fiddling around with my music apps, Third Girl’s phone buzzed. Suddenly, she was wide awake, hopping out of bed toward the table.

“Uber’s here,” she said, sensuously sliding a tiny thong up her thick thighs. “I gotta go.”

She slipped on her dress, stepped into her shoes, stuffed her bra into her purse and was ready to roll. I was mildly torn between disappointment that she was bailing on us so fast, and relief that she was dragging her lazy ass outa here so Trish and I could do some serious partying. More the latter I guess.

The toilet flushed and Trish rejoined me.

“That fuckin ditz is finally gone?” she said. I guess her heart wasn’t bleeding either. Trish walked up to the now empty table, absent-mindedly looking around.

“Aww, she wasn’t that bad,” I said.

“Oh hush,” she said. “The only reason you liked her was dat azz.”

“Not true. She had nice tits too.”

“Tits for brains, more like it. Dumber than a fencepost. Where did I leave that blunt?”

“Maybe not quite as dumb as you think,” I chuckled.

“Why do you say that?” she asked.

“Because little miss tits for brains just walked outa here with your Hall of Fame Azz Blunt!”


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