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After a few weeks of summer vacation, I went straight to the library where I could possibly see him. The conversation I had with my sister, Fiona, made sense.
“You look like… a miserable old virgin who wasn’t accepted in heaven,” she teased when she saw me staring at nothing on the front porch.
I looked behind me and saw her close the door behind. I had nothing to say. I still can’t take my mind off Phil.
“Hey!” she snapped.
“Fiona, I just need some time alone,” I said in a weak irritated voice.
Instead of leaving, she sat beside me on the sofa and tapped my leg before she spoke, “Liam and I had a lot going on in the past,” she started, “I hated some of his ways! God knows I did,” she said rolling her eyes. “But you know, I love him, and no matter how much I doubt him and how pissed off I get, it’s his ways I hate, not him.”
As she suddenly stopped, I figured that she’s trying to say something, “point is?”
“The point is… jeez! How slow do you want to be?!” she raised her voice a little trying to sound irritated. “I’d assume you love this guy since you’re making such a horrible face out here so my point is- if it’s real, if it’s something you can’t runaway from, face it!”
“You mean, face him?” I asked without needing an answer.
“Yes. Talk it out. We, women, sometimes make such a big deal out of something that’s not even that much if you clear the atmosphere,” she said, “I don’t know what’s going on, that’s your relationship, but I love you and I want you to be happy like me. Like Liam and I. And as your older sister, that’s what I’m here for.”
I breathe in the fresh air of Weatherville and looked up to the sky where the leaves of the trees block the brightness of the white thin clouds. “Fiona,” I said with a doubt in the back of my head that she’d understand the way I feel. Sigh.
“Tell me,”
“I feel like I’ve been cheated on and there’s not even an ‘us’, and it hurts like hell ’cause he made me feel like there’s something there,” I said, feeling the overwhelming weight of emotions.
“That’s pretty normal to feel that way, but I mean, why don’t you tell me the whole story?”
I told her the story of the masked man, how I met Phil and about Phil and I.
“Wow… ummm…” she was trying to make sense of everything I said. She stared at me for a long time before she burst out laughing.
“The fuck is wrong with you?!” I asked, feeling stupid.
“Oh God…” she still couldn’t stop laughing.
“What?!”
“Nothing, it’s just funny! Oh goodness, you’re so…” she laughed again, “I guess you should go to Phil,” she suggested.
“Why should I do that?! He’s a dick,” I rolled my eyes.
She shook her head, “just do it. I’m pretty sure he has an explanation and you’re just too dumb to listen,”
“What explanation are you talking about?! What other explanation would there be?”
“I don’t know! Maybe… it’s his Mom’s underwear!” she laughed.
“Shut up. That’s even dumber,” I rolled my eyes.
“June, possibilities are possibilities. You’re the one who told me you hardly know the guy so give him the benefit of the doubt. Just hear him out. You’ll be the judge anyway, to whatever he has to say.”
I looked at Fiona’s face thinking about what she just said. She has a point. It’s a bit difficult to face him feeling this way but then what if there’s something more to this? What if I’m just thinking so negatively of him because of his looks.
“You have always been so stubborn. What you think is always what it is but it’s not like that,” she added.
“Hi! Miss Elvie,” I greeted Miss Elvie, the sexiest 30 years old librarian I knew wearing a red lipstick all the time and short skirts.
“Hello, June!” she smiled sweetly.
I smiled before I proceeded to ask, “do you know… Phil Manning?” I asked, not really knowing how to ask about someone I don’t even know if a student or a professor or what, “or anyone who comes here often named Phil? Like… he’s tall and handsome, long eyelashes-“
“Sounds dreamy, Honey,” she cut me off, “but the Mr. Manning that I know wears thick glasses and long coats so I’m not sure about your description. Also I don’t know if his first name’s Phil but I know a Mr. Manning, he’s tall but he’s a ‘complete’ nerd,” she said as she put more red lipstick on her lips.
“Y-yeah… Okay… Uhh… So where is he?”
“Not sure. I haven’t seen him since the start of fall semester.”
“Oh…” I felt sadness run all over me. What if he’s not around anymore?
“Is he punishing you?” she smiled as she asked which confused me.
“What do you mean?”
“He’s known for punishing his students with piles and piles of research, homework and stuff,”
“Oh no! No. I mean, he’s not my professor. What department does he belong to?”
“Journalism or literature, but I’m not sure, he hardly talks to people. Always in that corner,” she pointed the very corner of the library where the literature books are, “if not running around. Why are you looking for him?”
A anadolu yakası eskort girl about two years younger than me came and spoke to Miss Elvie so I just shook my head to her, smiled and waved goodbye.
As I walked away, there’s a joy in my heart. At least now I know what he actually does at school. I went to journalism and literature department but he’s nowhere to be found. Everybody says he hasn’t been around much.
“You shouldn’t have deleted his number,” Thea said when we were in the gym later that day.
“I was pissed off,”
She didn’t speak right away. “I guess you’re right, I delete Tim’s number too when I’m pissed off with him,”
“As if you don’t remember it, anyway,”
She laughed, “I do. In fact, I just got his call and he was talking about this frat house Halloween party they will have in a couple of weeks. I’m going and dressing up as a yummy zombie!” she said excitedly making her flirtatious face again and purring sound.
“Can imagine a huge moldy, soggy looking burrito,” I teased, “smelling like a dead rat.”
“Jeez! I meant, sexy zombie!” she said defensively which made me chuckle. “You should come with us, chill,” she smiled.
“I’ll pass. I need to talk to Phil,”
“Oh, c’mon! Pretty sure you’ll see him before then, and it’s just one night. Lots of guys to replace him with too, if things don’t work out well with you guys,”
“I don’t know. We’ll see,” was all I said.
Days went past and I still couldn’t find Phil. I also went to his apartment but even Pamela told me he wasn’t there and hasn’t been around much. I was starting to lose hope. ‘Why would I bother anyway? He’s the one who’s supposed explain so he should be the one to come and find me!’ I thought. And so I spent time studying and just doing my own thing. I also started looking for costumes for the Halloween party at Tim’s frat house. I wanted to dress as a witch and so I looked for witch costumes and found a black, tube-top mini cocktail dress, which shows off the length of my legs, black net stockings, a witch hat and a pair of black stilettos. And since it was already chilly, I decided to take my black leather jacket with me.
“Hey! Who told you to dress up like that?!” Thea asked as if she was annoyed, looking at me from head to toe when she saw me coming out of the dorm.
“What?” I asked.
“Umm… Nothing. I guess we can both be captivating!” she giggled and grab me by the arm. “Let’s party!” she yelled as we walked towards Tim’s car.
Thea was dressed just like what she told me, a zombie except she looked like a hooker zombie with her plaid black and white mini-skirt, white ‘bloody’ knee-high boots, spaghetti-strap green top and make-up and lipstick all over the place matched with her scrubby-looking blonde hairstyle with a few colorful highlights. Tim was dressed as a pirate like Captain Hook.
In the party, Tim left us near the bar area and went outside to talk to his friends. Thea and I had a couple of drinks already and he’s still out there so Thea decided to get him but as she turned around, she bumped into a huge guy who’s probably about 6’5 and dressed as a zombie too.
“”Ouch!” Thea yelled being only 5’4 and skinny, “What the fuck is wrong with-” the guy kissed her.
“Sexy!” he grinned still holding Thea’s ass.
Thea was as shocked as I was. “Uhh…” Thea was confused and still buzzed from the drinks we’ve had. The next thing he did made our eyes pop out and our jaws drop! He literally grabbed Thea’s breast in front of everyone and started kissing her again. Yes, with tongue and all. Thea seemed to want to push the guy but she was so weak and drunk already and I was just so stunned.
To our surprise, someone grabbed him by the back of his shirt and hit him in the face. It was Tim! With the guy a little drunk and probably high, he easily got out of balance and crashed onto Thea’s seat in the bar; I was just lucky enough to be a little out of the way. I moved away from the guy. Tim was so pissed off and started yelling at Thea. Tim started dragging her out of there thinking she meant to kiss the guy when all of a sudden, the guy gained back his strength and picked one of the beer bottles and was kind of preparing to smash Tim with it. Instantly, being the person nearest to him, I grabbed my glass of Martini, went in front of him as fast as I could and splashed it to his face making his eyes feel like burning.
He screamed but he quickly opened his eyes and saw me. Still a little groggy, he turned to me and tried coming after me. I started to freak out but out of the blue, a man in black hooded cloak came and punched him right on his jaw. The big guy fell on the ground instantly because of the impact of the fist. K.O.! And the crowd booed as if it was just a normal boxing match.
Still in shock, I looked at my savior’s face as soon as as he turned around. It was covered with a mask. But I was more shocked to see the masked man’s mask! It’s him!
“You…” I gasped.
“June,” he anadolu yakası escort answered but to my surprise, Thea grabbed my arm.
“June’s coming with me!” she yelled at Tim as Tim grabbed her arm once again and dragged us both out of there.
“Thea, hold on! T!” I protested but they couldn’t seem to hear me. Both too drunk to listen.
I looked back to see him again and as I was walking away from him, and people started gathering once again in the dance-floor between us, he started taking his mask off. I was holding my breath. I will see his face!
But as the masked was removed, a girl’s face blocked my view. And then another girl, and another man with a colorful Afro. I couldn’t see his face. I will never know who he is and I swear I have never ever, in my whole life, wished to be a murderer until then. I wish I could cut their heads off with just my imagination but Thea’s tight grip kept me from running back or doing anything until we’re out the door.
We got next to Tim’s car and Tim just started yelling at me, “what the fuck were you thinking?! why didn’t you stop Thea?! She was drunk!”
“W-what?” I said, still buzzed and not knowing what Tim was on about.
“Thea’s drunk!” he started grabbing my arm and which brought me to my senses. “Why didn’t you look after her?! You were with her! You-” he stopped yelling as I hit his mouth and it bled a little because of the ring I was wearing. It hurts but it was so worth it.
“Just what the fuck are you on about?! You are the fucking boyfriend and where were you the whole fucking time?!” I yelled back and took my arm from his grip. I was so pissed off because of how he’s treating me and making me feel like it was my fault. I was scared that I was almost probably killed by a 6’5 zombie looking man. And I was frustrated because I haven’t even seen the face of the masked man. Now, this?!
His reaction changed and calmed. “Tim,” Thea pulled Tim’s shirt even though she’s still weak, “what the hell?” she asked.
Tim sighed as he touched his lip and apologized to Thea before turning to me and apologized, “I’m sorry. I’m just pissed.”
I shook my head in disbelief, “fuck yourself” I said before getting into his car, grabbed my jacket and marched back to the party to see the masked man.
He wasn’t there anymore. I looked everywhere but I couldn’t find him.
Tim and Thea has already left when I got back out. The dorm was only a few blocks away from the frat house so I just decided to start walking home. It was a chilly night but I decided to let the chill touch my skin and make me feel a little sober after the drinks I’ve had. Autumn was already approaching and the skies were filled with beautiful stars.
A car hooted as I was walking in the pavement. ‘Phil’s car!’ I stopped. ‘This is it!’ I thought.
He got out of his car and opened the door for me, “please?” he asked and so I did and threw my jacket on the backseat.
We sat in his car for a while, still not going anywhere. “I have to explain,” he said.
“I know,” was all I got to say.
“Okay,” he started driving us away from the University’s property.
We drove out towards the downtown, drove along the highways not talking. I only asked where we were heading and the only thing he said was, “to my favorite place,”
We came to a stop on a cliff overlooking the beach. He opened the door for me to get out so I did, leaving my jacket behind. We sat against the front of his car side by side. The view was breathtakingly beautiful with moon shining so bright up above looking down on us. The sea seemed endless until you see where stars and the ocean met but I can’t focus on it. I can just feel the heat of his body next to mine and it’s very distracting, sending me different feels.
“I’m sorry,” he started. I wasn’t sure if it was the wind that made me shiver or the sound of his voice I haven’t heard for such a long time.
“I don’t know what to say. To be honest, I just want to listen to whatever explanation you have for me,” I said not looking at his face, afraid that I’m just going to forgive him without even hearing anything yet.
“I know. I didn’t tell you right away, and I guess I should have,” he said.
“You guess?” I asked sarcastically feeling a little irritated with the word he used as if he didn’t think anything was significant to me.
Feeling cold, I went back inside the car to get my jacket but as I went to reach for it, I saw something shiny behind it. I took my jacket, moved the black cloth away that was slightly covering it and I grabbed the thing. A mask. The mask! And when I pulled the black cloth covering it, it was a black cloak! My jaw dropped and I couldn’t believe my eyes. Every memory came rushing into my head that it’s making me feel dizzy. Everything’s making sense now.
I got out of the car still holding the mask and the cloak. He was standing right next to me. I looked into his eyes trying to confirm what I was thinking.
He just stared at me with a bittersweet escort anadolu yakası smile. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away,”
“God… Phil…” I was still dazed but more than anything I was so happy inside.
“I thought you would’ve figured it out,”
“I didn’t…” I’m struggling to find words I was supposed to say.
“My voice? my touch, my body, my kisses, the underwear, how could you not?”
“I… I don’t know. I really don’t,” I said, shaking my head in disbelief looking at his face.
“You’re silly,” he smiled a little.
I sighed, “I’m so dumb. I really am. I mean, you feel so familiar but how would I know for sure? You were basically dressed the first time, your voice was so sweet and gentle, while when we met, it was more strict and a little authoritative. And you wear different types of perfume! And even clothes at school!” I explained, “You like dressing up huh?”
“I did, fair enough,” he chuckled. “and yeah, I mean, I have to wear proper clothes at school and appropriate enough to keep my students away.”
“Oh God… And the underwear. I already forgot about it. Had a few drinks that night. I mean, I thought it was mine at first until I went back to the dorm and saw the one I was going to bring. It’s just. an instinct I guess, because I had this assumption about you that you must be some sort of a player with your good looks.”
“Well, technically, I am. But with just you,” he smirked and his facial reaction changed as he continued, “and with your beautiful body.”
I bit my lip as I tried to stop myself from smiling from ear to ear. He makes me swoon. He knocks me off my feet and takes my breath away. Does he even know that?
“I’m sorry. I could really smash my head with a sledgehammer right now for my stupidity,”
“Oh! come on now. Part of it was my fault for not telling you and for going to these stupid parties I get invited to having to wear a mask on,” he scratched his head which made me laugh.
“I didn’t know you’re a professor. Not to mention a very mean professor!” I teased as I put the hooded cloak on him and his mask.
“Oh, I am,” he said with a devious look as he went for my lips but to my disappointment, he stopped before we even kissed. Instead, he kissed my nose and then my forehead before he gave me a warm tight hug. I could feel his heartbeat. “I miss you. So much. More than words can say,” he whispered next to my ear.
I closed my eyes and smiled. He’s so warm. His breath was so warm. I missed his warmth. He doesn’t even have to say anything because the sound of his heartbeat was already enough to make me feel fireworks in my veins and butterflies in my stomach.
“I… love you,” I whispered, not knowing if he heard me or not.
“I love you more,” he whispered back which sent shivers down my spine and smile that felt like it wasn’t going away for forever. I can just feel my eyes but not my face. I feel like I’ve smoked weed 24/7. I could die right then and there. Oh God… I love this man. So much, it’s scary.
He pulled himself away a little, cupped my face with his warm hands and started kissing my lips so gently. Passionately. Oh… His warm soft lips. And as his tongue started moving, I started giving him tiny bites and suck. I didn’t know a kiss with the person you love could be this magical that it actually makes your knees weak and wish there’s something more that could make you feel even closer than just that.
He pushed me against the car and started kissing me torridly. “I miss you,” he said and without even hearing my response, he kissed me once more.
His hand moved all over my back and hips down my butt while his other hand was moving from my face, to my neck, to my breast, softly caressing it as his kisses became more torrid and hungry.
I had my arms wrapped around his neck. I brushed his hair, feeling the softness of its waves in between my fingers, pulling his face closer, hungry and anticipating for his mouth after such a long time. Then I felt it. As he pushed his body closer to mine I felt his hardness on my belly. It’s making me even more hot. I can just feel the wetness in between my legs. I want him. Now. It doesn’t matter where we are or if anyone else is here. I want him. I want to feel him once again.
I stopped kissing him and pulled my face away, “I miss you,” I said, still panting as I parted my legs and raised the other on his side still with my arms wrapped around his neck.
In response, he lifted me up and against the car so I wrapped my legs around him. To my surprise, he ripped my stockings in between my legs and my underwear before unzipping his pants and letting his junk out. I kissed him as he pushed himself into me. “Oh!” I gasped.
He pushed and pulled himself in and out with his hand holding my butt up and I just couldn’t do anything but keep holding on and let him do me as I kiss him torridly while he’s filling me up. So this is what people mean when they say ‘you are the missing piece of me’. He is my missing piece in each and every way.
After a little while, he bent down a little and put my other leg down as he moved his right hand on my breast, caressing it and pinching my nipple gently as he was still fucking me. I didn’t think my other leg was able to hold but his arms are so strong that it’s enough to keep my balance.
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