Beautiful, Sexy, Silly

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In rural Pennsylvania, the county fair is still a big deal. Most counties in coal country still have them. It’s understood that most kids are going to skip school to go to the fair, so they shorten the school day that Friday to accommodate. Coincidentally, school is usually closed on the first day of deer season too, though that’s more of an unofficial state holiday. Hardly anyone, except for transplants from the city, is working on the first day of rifle season. It’s a different lifestyle, a different mentality, and everyone comes back the next day with stories about the one they got or the one that got away. This story is about one that got away. She was beautiful, sexy, and silly. She was a fox that I had little hope of being able to outwit.I remember the day my buddy Chet dared me to ask her to the county fair. I had just gotten my license, which meant I was finally an eligible contender among the guys at our school. It had taken me a while to pass my driver’s test since my old man insisted I take it in a stick shift. It must have been a dozen times he drove me to the DMV in Harrisburg before I was legally able to drive us home. When my grandfather passed away, my dad saved his Pontiac and we fixed it up for me to drive. Chet was hazing me in his usual style as I showed him my new license.“Wow, man! Just in time for senior year!” Chet snickered. “The babes will be banging on your door for sure!”Chet was the kind of friend that most people had in high school and then never talked to except at reunions. He wasn’t unlikable but he wasn’t the kind of friend you kept in touch with. After a while, you got tired of having to try to buy beer to replace the ones he’d steal from your dad’s fridge. He was fun but high maintenance. He was also a catalyst for your spirit of adventure, he would push you to do things you would never do, like ask Miranda Benson to the county fair. I didn’t want to lose my bet with him so I went over to the table where she was sitting.She was surrounded by her friends, all of them stuck-up townies. I knew Miranda was from the boonies like me. She lived on a farm off of Stroehecker Road. The only reason I knew that is because my dad had done some work in her dad’s barn fixing some storm damage.Sam Benson was a big man with hands that could crush a cantaloupe and fingers as thick as sausages. He always had his .357 magnum in his pocket and a sawed-off shotgun next to the back door. Miranda’s older sister, Amy, once had a peeping tom and ol’ Sam used that hot pipe to fill her interloper with both barrels of 00 rock salt.Sam’s youngest daughter, his baby Miranda, was the most beautiful girl ever to walk the halls of our school. She had long blonde hair, blue eyes and dimples. She was a cheerleader, played softball, and was one of the fastest runners I had ever seen. Those short shorts they wore at the track meets really showed off her powerful legs. When she ran, her hair flew wildly behind her despite being in a pony tail and her boobs, oh man, I remember her boobs looked great in those red pinnies. Seeing her run made me think of Baywatch; Pam Anderson running on the beach in that red one-piece. I would love to go out on a date with her, but if her dad decided he didn’t like the way I looked at her, I’d be dodging bullets.“Mike. Mike, did you hear me? Mike!”Oh shit, how long had I been standing here? I’m sure I had a dumb look on my Sex hikayeleri face. Here goes nothing. “Miranda, hi, I’m Mike,” I said.“I know who you are. I had American History II with you last year. Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have passed if you hadn’t let me copy your notes.” She smiled.Oh, that smile, there was something wholesome and sweet about it. Her smile could end all wars. It made you forget yourself and swim in those bright blue eyes. She had the cutest dimples too, highlighting those nice high cheekbones. I had forgotten that I let her use my notes in study hall last year. Anyhow, back to business. I had to ask her out or I’d have to give Chet twenty bucks.“Miranda, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the county fair with me tomorrow?” I said. Here we go, the die is cast, no turning back now.She looked to her friends; they tried to be sneaky about shaking their heads “no”. She looked back up at me. Her lips pursed, I was dying. “Sure! I would love to.” She smiled again.My knees buckled and I could swear my mouth was so dry it was like I ate a whole box of crackers and had no water.“Oh, wow! Sure,” I said, “I would love that too!” She played with her hair and watched me desperately search for something to say. I was stunned she said “Yes”. I might have died. I couldn’t be sure. Maybe I was already in Hell and Old Scratch was just fuckin’ with me again. I turned to face my friends, they were laughing hysterically. Chet was looking at me quizzically motioning thumbs up or thumbs down. Miranda gave them all two thumbs up and a big wide grin, they laughed and toppled over each other like bowling pins. They were all snickering and pointing, but I had won.“What time do you want to pick me up, Mike?” she asked.“Uh, noon? Yeah noon, we can get there early and get a bite to eat,” I replied, regaining some of my composure.“I can be ready at noon. Pa is gonna want to meet you and all, to make sure you aren’t some weirdo like that business with my sister, Amy. Don’t you worry about him though, he’s a pushover,” Miranda said as she fished a pen out of her purse.“Uh, okay. I’m sure he’s nice,” I said absently.“Lemme see your hand, I’ll write my number down so you don’t forget.” She took my hand and wrote her phone number in large swoopy numbers and signed her name with a little heart above the “i”. I was way out of my league here. Her friends stared at me agape.“Thank you,” I blurted. I was staring at the glittery pink writing on my palm in disbelief. As my eyes focused on my friends I could see that they all had taken to staring as well. Chet nodded in approval.“Oh, and Mike, don’t keep a girl waiting. Daddy won’t let any of his girls date slouches. Be there at noon if not a little early,” she said as she got up and left the cafeteria.I nodded dumbly. Sure I could be there at noon. What time is that? What is time? Should I leave now? It couldn’t hurt I guess. When I got back over to the table Chet handed me a twenty. I sat down in front of my sad excuse for a cheese steak and the world and all the clamor of the high school cafeteria fell away. What the hell had I gotten myself into?I pulled up to the end of the gravel road leading to Miranda’s house. There was a sign hanging from the porch with a revolver on it and it read “Forget the dog, beware of owner!” I wore a nice pair of blue jeans and a white T-shirt. I combed my hair and even Sikiş hikayeleri put on some of my dad’s Jovan Musk. I heard a whistling from behind me.“It’s been a while since I seen one of those! A Pontiac Trans Am and I like the color, Cameo White.” I turned and saw Sam; he must have been in the barn. “You must be Donny’s boy, Michael,” he said extending a hand.“I am,” I said and my voice cracked. I saw a tattoo of an anchor with rope and the initials “USMC”. That’s great, that’s just really great. Never mind the hand cannon he carries in his overalls or the hog leg duck gun he keeps just inside the door, anything is a weapon in this guy’s hands. He caught me staring at his arm.“That’s just a little something I got before I went to ‘Nam.” He smiled. “Miranda says you asked her to go to the county fair?” Sam asked, sizing me up.“Yes, I did,” I said, trying not to sound like a gawky teenager.He rubbed his bushy, grizzled beard and replied “Well, I have to say you’ll be getting there in style, three-speed?” he quizzed.“Four on the floor, actually,” I replied. He nodded at me approvingly. I cleared my throat and finished with “Sir”. He chuckled and patted the roof as one would pat the neck of a treasured horse.“You don’t have to ‘sir’ me son, I work for a livin’. I gotta wonder what you and Miranda are gonna talk about if you don’t have more than five words to say at a shot.”“That’s cause you’re downright scary toward every fella who asks me out,” Miranda chimed in, “Ain’t no secret you carry that gun everywhere,” she concluded. She was stunning, she wore a lovely blue baby doll dress and had black ribbons in her curly hair. She had wore modest lipstick and a splash of blush.“It’s for varmints and such. Damn groundhogs got more holes in the backfield than Swiss cheese!” Sam replied, almost indignant.“Mind your cussin’, Daddy, you know Momma don’t like it,” Miranda said.“You’re right, Sweet Pea. You two have a good time this afternoon,” he said, hugging her. “Just try to get back at a reasonable time. We’re still gonna need help with the chores tomorrow mornin’,” Sam said.“We will, Daddy,” Miranda said. With that, Sam left and my colon descended back down closer to where it belonged. “Is this your car? It’s nice, I like old cars,” Miranda said as she ran her finger along the chrome trim and gold pinstripes.“Yep, my dad saved it after Grandpa died and we got it running,” I said. I was kinda proud now that I heard it said. “Allow me,” I said, opening the passenger door.She sat in my car and I closed the door with a clunk, older car doors always did that. I raced around to the driver’s side and hopped in, eager to put as much distance between me and redneck Rambo as I could. When I got in she smiled at me. I turned the key and we left, a small cloud of dust from the gravel trailed behind us. The whole way there we talked about school and plans for after school. She really wanted to go to beauty school and learn how to cut hair and do make-up. She wanted to open a salon someday.I wish I had my shit together as much as she did. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I guess I could go to school. She asked me what for and I told her I didn’t know. She told me sometimes the journey takes you where you need to go, even if you have no clue how to get there. She was absolutely perfect in every way: beautiful, charming, smart, thoughtful. Erotik hikaye I wondered why she was here with me and not someone else. What did she see in me?As I pulled up to the fairgrounds, we smelled the funnel cakes. I parked the car and we made our way to the ticket booth. She leaned over at me and whispered “You can pay. Rather, I guess Chet can pay,” she said as a wicked smile broke across her lips.“You saw that?” I asked.“I take it you saw my friends shaking their heads?” she replied.I nodded. After I paid for the tickets, she took my hand and we went inside.“I came here with you because you asked me, you would be surprised how few guys ask me out,” she confided. She laced our fingers together. “I want to be here.” She smiled again. “Now let’s go get a funnel cake. My treat this time,” she said as she nodded toward the funnel cake stand.We sat on the grass and ate our deep-fried treat. She asked me why I was friends with Chet. I told her I wasn’t sure why. Honestly, he’s kind of a dick. She agreed. She was full of good questions. She told me that she would have never come here with Chet, no matter how horny she was. Did I hear that correctly? She smoothed out the folds of her dress against her legs.I was feeling kinda bold. “Why did you agree to come with me?” I asked.“Short answer: You’re not Chet. You don’t think the world owes you anything. You are not so caught up in wanting others to like you that you’re unlikable….and you take really good notes,” she replied. She giggled as she joked with me. I couldn’t help but laugh as well, she was intoxicating.“Thank you. I really like Mr. O’Neil’s class. He’s really into what he teaches, it kinda gets you excited too. Like when you laugh or smile, I want to laugh and smile.”“That’s why I like you. You’re helpful, kind. Chet would have said something stupid, something like ‘so I’m some kind of nerd’?!” she lowered her voice in a mock impression of him as she spoke.She was right. I hadn’t really thought about it like that but if she paid him a compliment, he would have blown it off. I felt my confidence draining. I felt like I was way out in the deep end with her, barely treading water, and my toes couldn’t find the bottom. In those lovely blue eyes, still waters run deep. She licked her fingers clean, teasing me just a little, then she leaned in and gave me a peck on the cheek.“What was that for?” I asked.“You looked like you needed it,” she replied.“Thank you,” I said looking down.“You’re welcome. You know what I need? I need a big, strapping lad to win me a prize at one of these rigged games!” she said, laughing as she playfully slapped my bicep.“I reckon I might be able ta do that fer ya, little lady,” I said in my best John Wayne. We laughed together.“Well alright, pilgrim,” she replied in her rendition of his gravelly cadence. She pointed to one of the oversized teddies they always hang prominently to lure in suckers. “I think you should try to win me one of those huge teddy bears, one so big it makes Amy jealous,” she smiled wide as she spoke and her dimples really showed.“Oh, I don’t know,” I said, “I’m not a very good shot.”I was lying. I could shoot the flies off a cow’s ass. I won her the biggest, pinkest bear they had. The snaggle-toothed carney who ran the shooting gallery glared at me. She squeaked and danced with glee as he took it down and handed it to her.“Wait until I tell Pa what a crack shot you are!” Miranda giggled. Please don’t, I thought, I don’t want to end up on “Unsolved Mysteries”. “Let’s take this to the car, we can come back later,” she said as she slung the massive plushy over her shoulder and held my hand with the other.

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